i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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