if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
is wine microwaveable?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
