Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
