I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
