I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
