He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
