I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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