I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize