You're completely useless in the revolution.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
