wat bout pragnant strippers??
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
