you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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