I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
