Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
