So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
