I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
