That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
