Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
