Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
