I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
