she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
