this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
