it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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