spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
