Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
