i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
