I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
