I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
