your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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