I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
