You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
