he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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