this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
