Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
