If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
