I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
