dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
