you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
