I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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