she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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