he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
