So drunk its hurt
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
