do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
