drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
