dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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