Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
