Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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