you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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