This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
