Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
