the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
