so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
