did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
