Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
