Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
