too bad you live with your parents still
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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