white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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