if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
