your parents love me but you hate me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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