Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
