im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's official drugs can't kill me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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