i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
