Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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