i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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