I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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